Wiznerd Extraordinaire

It’s 1:23 right now in the A.M.  And now it’s 1:29, apparently I don’t really wanna write this blog post.  But I do… :/ -sigh-

I’m pretty much listening to music and chatting with my friends.  I’m also cycling through all the websites I visit (aka, the “my links” page), and I realize I go through these websites constantly and nothing ever changes.  I mean, sometimes, facebook will have a friend on to chat with, but that’s all.  I should be in bed and asleep right now, but I haven’t even taken my shower yet.  I could have gone to bed over an hour ago, and actually read something.  I used to do that before the internet stole my life.  I’m not saying I’m a slave to the internet, but I have become so close to the people I’ve met on it, I kind of wish it were my real life.  I’m not saying my life is bad, but all these people I’ve become emotionally attached to, it’s just… I don’t know.  I’m not saying that THEY make me slave either, they have no control over me whatsoever.  But I like chatting with them and stuff.  It’s nice as a getaway.  Even though, since I do this practically every night, it’s no longer a getaway, but routine.  My getaway is my sleep and what i do for the other 12 hours of the day.  Literally, on weekends, as long as I’m not busy, I’ll be on the internet pretty much all day.  I’ll go to bed around 3 A.M. and wake up at noon.  Not a good habit, I know.  For the new year I have proposed an idea (just hatched like 2 seconds ago), to make sure I’m limiting myself on the internet during the week.  (I usually stay up until 10, then take a shower)  I’m going to try to get off the internet at 8:30.  That way I can go back to my old habit of reading before bedtime.   If you’re on my messenger list, and you see me up after about 8:30 (central, mind you) please kick my butt. Thanks.

Some more random jabbering, shall include how “emo” I feel right now.  I know that emo technically isn’t the word I’m really wanting to use, but I don’t know the word I really want to use.  My friend just hates it when people misuse that word, and I don’t wanna upset her!  Anywho, I wanna talk about how I’m feeling at this exact moment.  And that way is, I’m not sure.  It seems that anything could tick me off right now.  I don’t know why, but yeah.  (and No, this isn’t having to do with a certain time )  It’s not like I feel like crying, per se.  I’m not the crying type of person… Maybe I’m overtired?  I feel so out of it.  (if you can’t tell by my first paragraph)

Another thing, (and I’m just ranting here) is about my Boyfriend.  They really are more trouble than they’re worth. Lol.  I’m not being completely serious.  He just always wants to go to the movies.  I mean, I like the movies, but going to one at least once a week if not more?  That seems a little extravagant.  I would be so happy if he just wanted me to visit at his house.  Even then though, we watch movies.  I like movies, but gosh, can’t we just sit and talk with some music in the background?  We hardly ever talk, and I think we have some sort of lack of communication.  I think that’s why I broke up with him last February? March?  But then I was thinking how stupid that I was to break up with him and we started going back out. . . probably not the smartest thing I’ve done, but I do love him, I really do.  To be quite blunt, he’s the first guy I’ve made out with.  (which in my opinion, is a big step)  We haven’t made out since we got back together, and along with my problem of lack of communication, I honestly don’t know how he feels about making out again, nor does he see my stance on the situation.  But, i digress.  I’m just ranting.  If he doesn’t call me tomorrow, I’ll ask if we can chill out and veg at his house, and try to have an open discussion.  For real… -sigh-

And now, this might be all in my head, but I might be getting sick… Which is probably really all in my head.  But the kid I babysit is sick and I babysat him on Saturday… today and yesterday he had a fever and whatnot… so I hope I’m not the sick one too!  I was told to watch out.  And today, I went out without a coat. O_O  it was really that warm.  End of december, Weird right? lol.

So yeah… I’m sorry for wasting all your time, I really am.  I just felt like getting all that off my chest… :/  This post is even longer than my other random thinking post.  So, tell me, am I going crazy?

(BTW, i’m really, really sorry for my last post.  I sounded like a spoiled brat/jerk person.)

So, this has been bugging me for quite some time.  I wish people would comment me!  I post all these FOs and still nothing!  I hope that this doesn’t sound bratty, but I like getting at least some sort of feedback!   I’m weird that way… :/

I hope that that didn’t sound like mean or something. D:

Tell me what you think of my blog in general!  If there’s anything you know I can do to make it better, let me know please.